Bleh

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect


THE HORMONE WARNING:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL, Mary }:) This is tooo funny . . . hehehehe.

Toni Anderson said...

Very funny!!! I might copy that and send it to DH. He had the gall to mention hormones during a fight the other day (unhormone related) and I seriously wanted to kill him. Men just do not get it.

Anonymous said...

But Mar...wait until you join me in...


The Menopause Zone.


Truly a place where no man has gone before. LOL He'd better not try, either, because with the moods I can get into now, I would kick his ass. :)

JoAnn <---a nice person, really...

Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...

Hey, Mary, what's Gerry doing with that Venus man trap Angelina?

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth...it's got to be purely work related (The Lara Croft: Cradle of Life publicity)! Gerard would MUCH rather hang out with Mar, any day of the week. Of that I am sure.

Love his hair in this one...would like to run my fingers through it...sigh...

J

Anonymous said...

LOL! I really like #1 & 13. Of course, I guess they're kind of tied together. *g*

MJFredrick said...

I WANT menopause. It's worse now than it was when I was a teenager. I almost want to go on the Pill just to have RELIEF!

MJFredrick said...

Oh, Gerry was in that pic? I posted it for Angelina ;) She's hot.

MicheleKS said...

I wouldn't mind being in Angelina's place. I mean, she's worked with Gerry, Daniel Craig (possibly the next James Bond), and Brad Pitt. If I didn't like her so much I'd be calling her a bad name.

MJFredrick said...

And Clive - don't forget Clive!

Shesawriter said...

Right, Mary. DON'T EVER FORGET ABOUT CLIVE!!!!

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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