Our Town

Did anyone ever see/read the play Our Town? It's been awhile so my memory is hazy, but the main character dies and goes back to different periods of her life to visit. She can't interact or change anything, she just watches. But she gets to select which days she can go back and "relive," so to speak. I think she picks the day she got engaged, the day she got married, all the highlights of her life with her husband.

As I look at my son, who is 14 and 6'2, with all that long hair and the lean face with whiskers on his chin, I wish I could go back and revisit the days when he was younger. I don't know if I'd pick a special day, like a vacation or a holiday. I think I'd pick an ordinary day. A day, maybe, where we went to the zoo together, or Sea World, and then went to lunch and came home and rested in the cool house. A day where maybe one of our favorite movies came out on video and we would lay together on the couch watching it, his little body curled into mine, his hair smelling of boy sweat and shampoo. A day where we played softball in the back yard, or I sat and watched him splash around in one of those little pools (the year I didn't buy one of those was a sad year, lemme tell you.) Maybe the day the three of us went to Lost Maples Park, even though he was exhausted by the climb up the "easy" trail. Or the first time he saw the ocean. Maybe even our trip to Disneyland.

I loved him being a baby, but I guess I want to go back to a day when we were interacting.

He still loves me, still talks to me, will let me hug him now and again, but it's not like it used to be and that makes me more sad than you know. He's very close to my husband, which is reassuring, but not the same. I miss my little boy.

Here is a picture from when he was still shorter than me.

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In other news, I think the SARA meeting went well last night. ANOTHER SARA sold to Triskelion. That makes something like 7 of our writers for them! I still think we're focusing too much on the new members, though. I guess that's natural since most of the board members are new. And I'm thinking having only 20 members at meetings isn't a bad thing - I got to talk to about everyone.

Here's a picture from Butterfly on a Wheel.

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10 comments:

Stacy Dawn said...

My oldest is only four and already I think he's growing to fast. My nephews who I helped raise are a good two feet taller than me and one is going to his prom next week. Yikes!

Peggy said...

That post made me chock up. My boy is only two but I know someday he'll no longer be my little monster. I always rememeber shortly after his birth I was sitting in the lobby of the medical clinic waiting for my appointment with son's doc a few weeks after his birth. An old woman came in, walking very slowly and with a walking cane. Beside her, holding her elbow and escorting her was this great big man about the age of 40 or 50, obviously her son, there to take his aging mother to her doctor's appointment. And I thought to myself, I'd die a happy woman if my son turns out that way. Give your boy time, Mary. The tide will change and you'll have a new relationship to enjoy with him.

Stacy said...

Little boy sweat. Boy, I will miss that smell when M and T are taller than me. The stinky feet, well, I could probably do without that.

Anonymous said...

Mar, I spent last weekend moving my son into his new apartment. THAT one is just mind-blowing. He has another address that is not mine, and it never will be again. Wild stuff. And yet, I'm really proud of him. That helps me make the hurdle of change.

Yup, there are seven Triskelions now in SARA...Linda, Deloris, Mary J, Betty H, me, Megan, and Judith. Triskelion Authors will someday rule the world. :)

Hugs,
J

Toni Anderson said...

Hey--I hope Trisk rules the world :) 7? That's amazing!

Mary--I'm like Peggy. Still get those bear hugs and my boy wants his mom when things get tricky. I don't want it to change, but it will and it is natural and like Peggy says I bet he comes back to you :)

mary beth said...

{{{Mary}}}
It's bittersweet, that's for sure. DD's 16. She asked to go to a party tomorrow. ACK! I've been a little over protective, I guess.

Trish Milburn said...

Okay, that so doesn't look like J. :)

MaryF said...

You ladies with little ones enjoy every minute. I know you've heard it before, but it's true.

Peggy, that reminds me of the Robert Munsch book called I LOVE YOU FOREVER, where the mom rocks the boy and sings him a song, even when he's too big and taller than her. Then he comes when she's an old lady and rocks her. There's another book that makes me SOB called LET ME HOLD YOU LONGER - same kind of story.

Stacy...the stinky feet don't go away ;) Especially when he was skateboarding - UGH!!!

JoAnn, I didn't know your son moved out. That IS sad!

Mary Beth, so are you going to let her go? I was so overprotected that I try hard NOT to be, but it's hard hard hard. Goes against my every instinct. And every time I hear something on the news about something happening to a teenager, I want to lock him up to keep him safe.

Trish, it's because you can see his face, and he's smiling ;)

Toni Anderson said...

Mary, my DD makes me say the "I'll love you forever" rhyme everynight.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

MaryF said...

Toni, I can't even say that line without choking up!

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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