Bleh

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect


THE HORMONE WARNING:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

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12 comments:

Bonnie Ferguson said...

LOL, Mary }:) This is tooo funny . . . hehehehe.

Stacy Dawn said...

Oh yeah...I can relate this week. I'm cutting and pasting a list to give my hubby in warning!

Toni Anderson said...

Very funny!!! I might copy that and send it to DH. He had the gall to mention hormones during a fight the other day (unhormone related) and I seriously wanted to kill him. Men just do not get it.

Joanna K. Moore said...

But Mar...wait until you join me in...


The Menopause Zone.


Truly a place where no man has gone before. LOL He'd better not try, either, because with the moods I can get into now, I would kick his ass. :)

JoAnn <---a nice person, really...

Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...

Hey, Mary, what's Gerry doing with that Venus man trap Angelina?

Joanna K. Moore said...

Elizabeth...it's got to be purely work related (The Lara Croft: Cradle of Life publicity)! Gerard would MUCH rather hang out with Mar, any day of the week. Of that I am sure.

Love his hair in this one...would like to run my fingers through it...sigh...

J

Tori said...

LOL! I really like #1 & 13. Of course, I guess they're kind of tied together. *g*

MaryF said...

I WANT menopause. It's worse now than it was when I was a teenager. I almost want to go on the Pill just to have RELIEF!

MaryF said...

Oh, Gerry was in that pic? I posted it for Angelina ;) She's hot.

Michele said...

I wouldn't mind being in Angelina's place. I mean, she's worked with Gerry, Daniel Craig (possibly the next James Bond), and Brad Pitt. If I didn't like her so much I'd be calling her a bad name.

MaryF said...

And Clive - don't forget Clive!

Shesawriter said...

Right, Mary. DON'T EVER FORGET ABOUT CLIVE!!!!

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