Insanity

Because that's where I am....

Someday soon I'll be original again.....

The Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "Inbox"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh man }:)

Toni Anderson said...

Insanity--I hear ya!!

Stacy Dawn said...

So your saying if I've actually done one or two things on that list then I'm well on my way to staying insane. Cool!

Tori said...

I saw this list awhile back and it's still just as hysterically funny now as it was then. :D

I especially like #2, 11, and 17.

Michele said...

If any one does Any of these, they are going to be successful in life.
and very rich

Michelle said...

Too funny. :) I like the garbage can one.

Hope everything gets better for you soon!

Colleen Gleason said...

CONGRATULATIONS MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Colleen

Jill Monroe said...

No punctuation...that's just crazy talk, Mary!

Laura said...

yeah man no punctuation rules !!!!

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MJFredrick
I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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