Guilt

I've had an embarrassing amount of good writing news lately. It's to the point where I'm actually feeling guilty about announcing it.

Maybe it's because I know what it's like to be jealous of someone's success. A few years ago I would listen to chapter members' success and glower. "What have THEY done to deserve this? I've been writing longer. I should be having that success." Yes, I was ugly inside and I'm not proud. Yet here I go announcing it to the blogosphere. But two things happened. I worked harder to get that same success, and I learned that they had worked blasted hard for it, too.

So I'm not going to feel guilty (is it that easy? Is it a woman thing or a Catholic thing, do you suppose?) I have worked hard. I've spent over a thousand dollars on contests over time, over $400 this year, before entering the GH. (I'm so glad my dh doesn't come to this blog.) I've given up a lot of things I would love to do to focus on writing. So I deserve this. (If that sounds like an affirmation, it is. See, look, I'm apologizing for being proud of myself!)

Photobucket is holding my pics of Gerry hostage. I hope their trouble is not permanent!

I slept till 6 AM today, and a cold front is on the way!!! And --- inservice day!

19 comments:

mary beth said...

Don't feel guilty for your success! Like you said, you've earned it. AND your success inspires others. Congrats!

Bonnie Ferguson said...

No need to feel guilty, Mary :) You have EVERY right to enjoy this.

Charity said...

Do not feel guilty! You so deserve this. I haven't had the chance to say congrats yet, but know that they're heart felt. You're a good writer and you've worked hard to earn this. Now celebrate!

Trish Milburn said...

What Mary Beth and Bonnie said. We each have our writing good times and our writing bad times. And positive news helps give other writers hope.

Michele said...

You've earned your success, Mary. Enjoy it!

Personally, I savor every success story I hear. I know how hard someone worked to achieve it and I celebrate along with them. It inspires me, both with knowing that someone has succeeded, and that there may be hope for me yet.

Nikki said...

I like success stories too ... makes me feel like if they can do it then I can too! Persistence, right???

Enjoy it -- and man, I hope they fix that soon .. you must be Gerry meltdown by now ....

Shesawriter said...

Mary,

Don't worry about jealousy or guilt. Put things into perspective. Each of us has a road to travel. What one does or achieves has nothing to do with another. Everyone has their own time table and path. Stuff happens for a reason. Timing is the same way. Follow your dream, sweetie. It's yours and nobody can take it away from you but YOU. Remember that.

Hugs,

Tanya

Shesawriter said...

One last thing. Be PROUD of this. You've achieved something many writers are still dreaming of. This is your moment. Don't let anyone or anything steal your joy. Make it last.

Another BIG hug,

Tanya

Jude D said...

Mary just wanted to say I've found your story really inspiring - that you've persisted and dreamed about it for so long. I also think it's good to hear that sometimes others (not just me) feel totally cheesed off that it's not happening to them as fast as they want it! I think your story is solid gold - and I'm so looking forward to great things for you. And can you sort out your pic problem - Gerry Butler withdrawal symptoms are setting in. As Scotsmen go he's a prime one
Jude D (from Scotland, and Harl boards)

Janice Lynn said...

Mary! You have nothing to feel guilty about. You are a fabulous writer and deserve every good thing that happens!!! Here's hoping you have even MORE good news very soon!!!

Toni Anderson said...

Good news is good news Mary. Why waste time feeling guilty? Enjoy the good and keep the bad in a filing draw so you can tell your story in years to come :)

MaryF said...

Thanks, guys. It's not like I don't have ENOUGH to feel guilty about, right? I mean, the messy house, the DVDs that have been sitting for weeks.....why NOT enjoy??

And WHAT IS WRONG WITH PHOTOBUCKET????

Michelle said...

Mary--don't feel an ounce of guilt. We LOVE hearing success stories. I'm excited when people get close to achieving their dream and delirious over first sales. Hey, I like to live vicariously. :)

Joanna K. Moore said...

Mar, I want you to climb up on the roof of your house and crow like a rooster!!!! You deserve every single thing you have received lately, and then some. Be proud, very proud...you worked your ass off for every bit of what is happening.

I know about what you mean, when things happen for others...but I have to admit that my feelings like that come out when the people in question have been unkind to me or to others, or just been generally jerky. I sit there and think, "Grrr." I am a bad, bad girl. But you, Mar, have done everything you could to help others, you've been loving, kind, supportive, and open. To see good things come to you makes me remember the reality of what I believe...that you get back what you send out. Here comes the good stuff, Mar. Like a boomerang, it returns home to you. I love you bunches.

JoAnn

MaryF said...

Pah. I'm not that nice. BELIEVE me.

And I'm not crowing. ;) Not that it would matter. No one gets it around here anyway.....

Peggy said...

Mary, I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb and admit I DO get jealous when someone sells! Yep, I'll say it! Feel down right depressed. But it has nothing to do with the person who sold. I feel very happy for them. It's all about me! To the point, I think maybe it's not such a good idea to visit the boards and be part of the writing community...then depression fades and sanity returns! Thank God!

What would we do if we didn't hear all the success stories and know there is hope?? Heck, all the positive atmosphere on eharl has me convinced each and everyone of us will eventually sell!!

So my advice, if someone doesn't want to hear your good news, then they don't have to visit your blog or read wherever else you may want to celebrate! But my guess is it will pass for them as well and they will celebrate right along with you too! So don't feel guilty! Share. Celebrate. It's a wonderful thing.

Joanna K. Moore said...

I still think crowing would be a good idea...would give the neighborhood something to talk about... :)

I know about others not understanding. My Dad still doesn't seem to be very impressed that I sold my first book. He has no idea what it has been like up until now...at least my Mom does "get it"!

I guess I don't get that jealous when people sell (unless they have been unkind or jerky) because I am at peace with my own path, my own way. I don't want to be a Nora. I only want to be truest me I can be.

And you ARE that nice, Mar. Even with your dark side! LOLOLOL

Hugs,
J

April said...

You've worked for this. Obviously your writing hit that mark of excellence that led to so much success. It's really nice to hear this because I think, "one day maybe that'll be me!" Keep being happy, keep succeeding, and keep sharing!!

MaryF said...

No, Peggy, you don't stick out. I had a horrible situation a few months ago when a friend sold and I was sooooo jealous. We'd been writing about the same length of time, and I'd had more success, so I thought I'd sell first. Huh-uh. While I was genuinely happy for her, there was definitely a why-not-me feeling there.

See, told ya I wasn't nice ;)

You're definitely right about stepping back from the boards because of that. I've had to do it on more than one occasion. Why make life harder for yourself by letting it bring you down? Best not to know.

Thanks, Peggy and April!

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