Evaluations

Today my mom and I are going to do one of my favorite things - hit the Starving Artist show in La Villita. It's always the first weekend of April, and they have so many pretty/cool things. And funnel cake. And kettle corn.

Yesterday I spent the day reading Trish's new manuscript, targetted to Next. I laughed. I cried. I thought about it all night. It's WONDERFUL.

My friend Kris (Queen-a Athena) sent me this. Fortunately, my evaluation was MUCH better than this.

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from
federal government employee performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

13. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

14. "He's been working with glue too much."

15. "He would argue with a signpost."

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

28. "One neuron short of a synapse."

29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.


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4 comments:

Trish Milburn said...

Thanks for the comment on my manuscript. :)

Stacy Dawn said...

I LOVE Funnel Cake!

MJFredrick said...

I loved it, Trish! I was telling my mom about it and SHE cried.

Stacy, it was goooooood. Hot. All I've eaten all day. I'm STARVING!

Anonymous said...

Mmmm....funnel cake...mmmm...:)

Goodreads

M.J. Fredrick's books on Goodreads
Breaking DaylightBreaking Daylight
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Hot ShotHot Shot (Samhain)
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Where There's SmokeWhere There's Smoke
ratings: 6 (avg rating 4.00)

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MJFredrick
I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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