I Love Bad Boys

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I know we've talked about this before, bad boys versus good boys. It's been brought home to me this week as I've been watching ER reruns with Clooney - I love bad boys.

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But the question today is WHY? What is it in ME that draws me to bad boys? Is it a nurturing thing, a need to take care of these damaged guys? But that can't be it, either, can it, since, say, Sam Winchester is just as damaged as his brother but is NOT a Bad Boy.

Is it a need to change the bad boy into a good man?

Is it a need for corruption? I'm essentially a Good Girl - do I need a balance of wildness?

Is it envy for the freedom Bad Boys have, the disregard for social mores?

What is it in women that draws them to bad boys?

(Let me tell you, I wish I had some pictures of the dh scanned - he was a Bad Boy. Mmmm.)

5 comments:

Natalie Damschroder said...

I think "bad" is a misnomer. Because none of those guys are BAD. They are HEROIC, in fact. They speak plainly, and are powerful, and don't tiptoe around anyone, sure. But they don't ever deliberately hurt anyone (well, who doesn't deserve it) and they would (and some do) risk their lives to help or save others. They also feel very deeply, which may be the ultimate draw.

Looking at your choices again, I'd say Captain Jack is one of those ZOOM things: *sings* "One of these things is not like the others..." LOL He doesn't care about others that much, and doesn't exert or risk himself for them, until really, really pushed. But it's not until that point that he really becomes a romantic draw, IMO.

So, there's my .01. Probably not worth .02. :)

MaryF said...

Natalie, your comment gave me pause. And then I started thinking if anyone doesn't belong, it's Dean. Here's why.

Doug Ross - alcoholic, womanizer, bad friend, butts heads sometimes just because he can

Alex Karev - self centered, lies to get what he wants, arrogant, bucks the system, cheats on someone he thinks he could love

Sawyer - con man, thief, tricked the Lostees into giving him control of the guns. He has worked on redemption this year, but before that, BAD.

Tim Riggins - alcoholic, womanizer, bad friend (sleeps with best friend's girlfriend AFTER best friend is paralyzed), thief

Captain Jack - what you said

Tony Stark - alcoholic, Merchant of Death. He does redeem himself in the movie, but only after HE experiences what his weapons can do.

Wow, again, I have to wonder WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME that I'm attracted to these guys!!!

Natalie Damschroder said...

I don't know the Alex or Tim characters, since I don't watch those shows.

But I'd contend that you weren't fully attracted to them until they became redeemable. Superficial attraction, because they're beautiful and have great voices and stuff, needs no rationalization or apology. :) Wanting a no-strings day (or night!) with them doesn't touch all the other stuff. And wanting to be with them (you know, in fantasy *g*), to connect with them, to touch their gooshy centers, is because of their good elements--the heroism or compassion or vulnerability they might have.

You're not attracted to them because you want to be abused or cheated on or think that's all you deserve (which is the WRONG way to want bad boys ;), so it's okay. I would say I'm attracted to them because I "know" I would be the different one, the person so special to them their flaws would be dampened. The one who could heal them. But never under disillusionment about their true colors.

As for Dean, I'd say he absolutely belongs in the group. Biggest womanizer in the bunch, bully, selfish, self-destructive, criminal, murderer(!) :)

Or maybe I'm all wrong. Maybe I should shut up because I'm looking at it from a different place, one not valid to your argument. (But when have I ever been known to actually shut up?!)

Anyway, bottom line? Nothing's wrong with you. LOL

MaryF said...

I like this, Natalie!!! "But I'd contend that you weren't fully attracted to them until they became redeemable."

That's true - Tim and Alex opened themselves up to these women and that's when they became appealing. And I think I like to WRITE bad boys because of this: "I'm attracted to them because I "know" I would be the different one, the person so special to them their flaws would be dampened. The one who could heal them. But never under disillusionment about their true colors."

Hmmm, other than MY Alex, I don't have a bad boy to work with for awhile....

Natalie Damschroder said...

*hugs Mary*

I felt so incomprehensible trying to explain what I meant. It's exciting that it made sense! LOL

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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