Since it's Sunday....

Here's a funny for you.

Catholic Dictionary


AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER : 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.

2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass - led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

SERMON/HOMILY: To some the equivalent of a bedtime story.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love these!! Thanks for sharing. :)

Anonymous said...

Hehehehehe :)

Michele said...

Michele here
That is too funny
I'm a Catholic and I can relate to most of them
Thanks for the giggles!

MJFredrick said...

Aren't these great? I was raised Catholic, and when I was a teenager started going to Mass without the family. You better believe I had to have my "receipt" (the bulletin) when I came home.

Goodreads

M.J. Fredrick's books on Goodreads
Breaking DaylightBreaking Daylight
ratings: 11 (avg rating 3.33)

Beneath the SurfaceBeneath the Surface
ratings: 11 (avg rating 4.00)

Hot ShotHot Shot (Samhain)
reviews: 2
ratings: 10 (avg rating 4.00)

Where There's SmokeWhere There's Smoke
ratings: 6 (avg rating 4.00)

Good Reads

Widget_logo

Followers

About Me

My Photo
MJFredrick
I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
View my complete profile

Archive

Beneath the Surface

Breaking Daylight

Breaking Daylight Review

Where There's Smoke

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Where There's Smoke Review

Photobucket

Bull by the Horns

Photobucket

Hot Shot Reviews

Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket

Hot Shot

Photobucket

Carina Press

Twitter Updates

    follow me on Twitter

    Join My Newsletter

    Where Visitors Live

    MJ Fredrick Fan Page's Fan Box