A cheat

I finished Hot Shot, printed it out, boxed it up - it's ready for New York. Cat woke me three minutes before the alarm.

And because I can't think of anything to write about, here's a cheat.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's (2003) winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

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10 comments:

Stephanie Bose said...

Yay on getting it out the door!!! It's gonna sell soon, Mary!

Bosey

Sarah Catherine said...

Hey Mary! :)
These words cracked me up, hilarious.
Best of luck with Hot Shot! I really enjoyed reading it at contest junkies.

BTW - Linda Jacobs is a member of my West Houston RWA chapter! How do you like her book? Apparently she is extremely knowledgable of the Yellowstone area.

Have a great week!

Tori said...

These are a riot!!!

Bonnie Ferguson said...

Woo Hoo on finishing Hot Shot and getting it out the door, Mary! :)

Joanna K. Moore said...

Fly, Hot Shot, fly! Way to go, Mar!

And...

GerryGerryGerryGerry.... :) Sigh.

J

MaryF said...

Thanks, guys!! I'm celebrating by catching up online until the ds comes home, then cleaning house, then... GUILT FREE TV!!

Then tomorrow back to work on DLB for the GH.

Sarah, Linda's book is making me feel VERY inferior. She knows a lot about everything. I wonder how long it took her to write this book.

Anonymous said...

All right, Mary, for getting Hot Shot on its way to a sale! Be honest--did you kiss it goodbye? I'll freely admit to sending some spit DNA to NYC a few times myself. ;)

All digit crossed for the smarts of editors who know a winner when they see it.

Cyberhug,

Candy
Calvert

MaryF said...

Thanks, Candy! No, I didn't kiss it good-bye - I was too upset that the post office wasn't going to open for an hour and I had to use the automated postage thing (though thank heavens for that!)

Kiki, aka Esri said...

Congrats on mailing that sucker off!

And EWWWWW on finding half a worm in your fruit. I saw it happen to my MOM when I was about 15, and it took me YEARS to eat peaches again.

MaryF said...

Thanks, Esri!

And double EWWW!!!

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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