Since we're getting ready for the shopping season, I thought I'd share this with you. I don't remember where I found it.

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time or even if you're just bored:

1. Pick up packages of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off in 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares," . . . and see what happens.

5. Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION ? WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the sporting goods department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through say, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! It's those voices again!"

And last, but not least,
12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loud, "We're out of toilet paper in here!"

Why is this sexy to me? I just don't know.