That's Educational

I cut 17 pages from my WIP yesterday, and now I need to know HOW my h/h are going to find the hostages! GAH! When the Muse gives me an idea like that, she needs to give me answers, too!

I didn't write this, but boy, do I know it!

YOU MIGHT BE EMPLOYED BY A SCHOOL IF.....

1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

2. You want to slug the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."

3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.

5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

7. You have no social life between August and June.

8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much easier.

9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".

12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

13. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."

16. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?

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12 comments:

Trish Milburn said...

I'm not a teacher (don't even play one on TV), but I've thought No. 9 myself. I'll have to tell my SIL, who is a teacher, about this.

Sharon said...

ROFL at #1! I've thought the same thing when I've visited my kids school.

Kelly Parra said...

You'll find out how to find those hostages, Mary!! Good luck! =D

Stacy Dawn said...

LOL Mary!

Lynn Daniels said...

I'm not even a teacher and I've thought a bunch of those!

Good luck with those hostages...you'll work it out!

MaryF said...

Glad you enjoyed them! I didn't even THINK about my hostages today. Tomorrow, should have plenty of time during dull dull dull inservice.

Michelle said...

These are SO true. Love the Ritalin salt lick. Only now it should be Concerta, I think. :)

Anonymous said...

I teach at an all-girls high school. I don't want a Ritalin Salt Lick. I need a Midol Dispenser! HAHAHAHA! Just kidding.

Keep on keepin' on, teaching sisters!

JoAnn

Shesawriter said...

Back to school. For some reason I both dread and look forward to it. But there's always the peace and quiet I get during the day so I can write.

Tanya

MaryF said...

No kidding, JoAnn. Last year when I taught 5th grade, I had 16 girls and 7 boys. AHHHH! This year, in 3rd, it's the opposite.

Tanya, can I just say, :P on the writing time! ;) When I'm at work, I'm with kids, when I'm at home I'm with kids! Of course, the one at home is a prize, so I shouldn't complain.

Amie Stuart said...

*sigh* my son had a melt down yesterday =(

MaryF said...

CECE! What happened???

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