Six Weeks

It's been six weeks since I've written. Six weeks. Three weeks since I've spoken to my agent about the changes she wants to DLB, two weeks since my critique group meeting and I still haven't gotten to work on it.

I'll open the file (a new one, so I still have the old one as back up), stare at it awhile, and then find something more pressing to do, like check my Blockbuster queue.

I'll take my notebook to the big chair in the back room so I'm not distracted by the internet, and then decide to judge a contest entry instead.

I'll go to bed at nine, thinking I'll wake up early, but I won't.

I have no sense of urgency to write. I know Emily won't send this one out till Hot Shot has run its course or sells, so I don't feel pressed. I have ideas, and books to revise, and ideas how to revise them, but I don't feel like writing them. I'd rather read or watch movies or TV. I don't even think a challenge would give me the kick I need. I know the great comments I got from Launching a Star didn't help. I even made a collage, which was more my way of pretending I was working on the story than anything else.

If I didn't have an agent, I feel that for the first time, I could walk away from writing. Scary, huh?

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15 comments:

Stacy Dawn said...

I think just like anything at some point you need a break. With a job you need vacation time or sick days, with kids you need a few hours out or a day all to yourself. You have been working really hard for the last year and probably for the last few...your brain just needs a break, time to recharge. Like you said, you are still thinking about it and have revisions ready when you are...don't worry, take the break you need, you will probably be surprised how well it works.

Michelle said...

Everybody goes through phases like this. Enjoy the time off and use it to refill the creative well.

Toni Anderson said...

You just need a break. Give yourself permission to NOT write!!

Anonymous said...

I'll just echo what everyone else has said :)

Gina Black said...

I agree! It's okay not to write for short and even long periods. That doesn't mean you aren't a writer. It just means it's time for a break and to refill the well, as Michelle said.

One of the good things about not having deadlines is that we can do this when we need to. Since you are going to sell and will be dealing with that, now is the time to enjoy not being on that treadmill. :)

Anonymous said...

I hear you, Mar. I know I should be working on Damien. I do a few pages a week. But not nearly enough to get this book done soon. My last book was released in December. If I don't get it together, the wave might pass and I missed it. I need to get something else out there, soon. And yet I can't seem to find it in me right now. I have to push to get these few pages a week done, out of sheer willpower. I don't know why.

Saturday I slept until NOON...I haven't done that since high school. I spent all weekend in my pajamas, completely kicking back. I hope that amount of rest will help me refill that well. I was so tired I kept falling asleep in the chair all the time...I really don't want to emulate my elderly father on that, at least! (He has many other fine qualities!) Hang in, Mar. It's been a long six weeks. We will get back into it. Why do I say that? Because we always do, even when we say we could quit right now. We ALWAYS come back.

J

Trish Milburn said...

Well, I know how you feel. I've done this and that, but I haven't really had my nose to the grindstone since I turned in my Intrigue revisions, and the past 2 1/2 weeks, I've done nada. But like everyone else said, we come back when our brains are ready. Finally, today, I'm getting back in the saddle.

April said...

I agree with what everyone else has written. You have to have a break. I think it's purely natural and you should try and enjoy it while you take it. Before you know it, the storm will be back and you'll be back in action! Until then, rest!

MaryF said...

Wow, you guys are nice ;) I'm really torn. I feel guilty for not writing because I have all these ideas, and books to fix. But on the other hand, you're right about once I have deadlines, I won't have the luxury of taking it easy. Maybe I'll ease back in, 100 words a day or something.....

Colleen Gleason said...

You know, Mary, this is the first time you haven't been on your own in this writing thing.

Emily's with you. Which means you can actually take a break without feeling guilty--you know she's handling the submission end for you! You don't have to feel the urgency to get something else out there, 'cause someone's handling it!

All you have to do is write...and everyone needs a break, to fill up on life again, sometimes.

So enjoy it. Enjoy knowing that you're not on your own any more with this! You have a partner, a savvy, motivated, excited partner, who is just as motivated for you to sell as you are.

Wow.
What a feeling, eh???

MaryF said...

Colleen, I wouldn't feel as guilty if I didn't have Emily! I feel like I should have this next book ready to go when Hot Shot runs its course, and at this rate....

JoAnn, I've been going to be early, too. Friday night I was falling asleep BEFORE eight! And last week, every night but Wednesday I went to bed at nine. I'm hoping it's the weather.

Kelly Parra said...

Mary, I've gone through this too! It's as if you're resting and in waiting to see what happens with the book that is on submission. I always felt like I was waiting, waiting for the next answer from the next publisher, and couldn't go on with the next story.

It's tough, but it'll pass! =D

MaryF said...

EXACTLY, Kelly! Only I know I should be writing to have the next book ready to go. I swear, if I didn't have all these books already written, it would be so much easier. I feel compelled to fix them. From here on out, it's partials all the way, baby.

Tracy Montoya said...

Mary, I've been going through the same thing since the dh went to Iraq. When you find a cure, let me know, 'kay? (And good luck finding a cure!)

MaryF said...

Tracy, he hasn't gone BACK, has he??? And you do have two little ones....you have a better excuse than me!

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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