The Bandwagon: Insecurities (Not Mine, For a Change)

Insecurities (Not Mine, For a Change)

I was watching Letterman last night. It was a rerun with Halle Berry. She was talking about her bad luck with men and she turned to Dave and said, "What do men want?"

I sat up and stared. She is HALLE BERRY, gorgeous, successful, and she doesn't think being herself is enough? She's willing to change who she is because she can't get a man?

Is it my age that causes this reaction? Will she understand what it is she said when she's forty?

You've got to love women who say, screw that, THIS is who I am.

Don't you wish you could pass that on to the young girls coming up, who will do anything to get a guy? Don't you wish you could go back in time with that attitude? I would probably be a different person. I definitely wouldn't be with my husband, because I molded myself to him. (I was 17, for heaven's sake!) But I wonder what kind of life I would have had if having someone to love hadn't been such a huge focus of my life.

It just seems wrong to put a hunky picture up today ;)

BTW, the book I'm reading? The Pregnancy Test? Pretty awesome!

11 comments:

Kelly Boyce said...: Actually, Halle Berry is 40, but considering the type of men she's gone with in the past, I don't think its an age thing, I think its an insecurity thing. Which is sad. I guess beauty IS only skin deep.; 10:27 AM
Shesawriter said...: Berry has always been insecure and needy. This little tidbit has come from at least two of her exes. From the looks of it, she's not going to change. It's a shame. She's one of the most beautiful women in the world, and she's more insecure than most.; 12:27 PM
KATZ said...: Insecurity has to come from that world where absolutely everything is based on appearances. You're changing yourself constantly to be what a director wants, a photographer wants, a magazine wants, the public wants...it would be hard to know who you really are, and then be confident enough not to change for the man you're with.

DH and I met when I was 17 also!; 1:35 PM
Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...: I agree that Halle Berry has always been insecure when it comes to men. She tried to commit suicide after her break-up with Dave Justice. She also seems to have sort of a victim mentality as well. I think she needs to do some work on herself before she can truly be happy. Of course, she's also now dating a hot French Canadian model, so I dont' know what she's complaining about.; 2:42 PM
Toni Anderson said...: Very sad--but often beautiful women don't see themselves as beautiful (I have friends who tell me so :)

We're envying them and they are miserable.

Mary--I think everyone has that 'please' people mentality at 17. You just found a good guy to stick with--well done you :); 9:53 PM
Rene said...: I didn't start dating seriously until I was in my 20's. In high school I compared all the guys to Mel Gibson and in college I was too busy studying and partying with my roommates. I met my dh right before my 26th birthday. I didn't have any real great desire to please anyone or have a boyfriend, I had romance novels. I had a "list" of what I was looking for and I wasn't going to change it. If I didn't find that man, that was okay. I think my mother was convinced I was a lesbian.; 10:55 PM
MJFredrick said...: Halle Berry is FORTY??? GET OUT!!! Wow. I just felt so sorry for her - I mean, I never thought I'd feel sorry for her.

Tanya, I had no idea. I always kinda blamed the guys. How bad am I?

Sarah, I think you've hit the nail on the head! The last Bombshell I read was set in Hollywood, and no kidding, those characters were so willing to change at the drop of a hat.

Elizabeth, she did mention the model, that they'd been going out for 8 months, but she sure didn't sound like it was a forever thing. She tried to commit suicide? Wow, poor kid.

Toni, I think they're mostly hungry ;) Yeah, I found a pretty awesome guy, and I guess we were young enough that we molded to each other.

Rene, I love that you knew who you were first. I think that's so important and I wish more girls thought that way. Maybe they do more these days.; 7:23 AM
Anonymous said...: Mar, I did everything I could to help my students to learn this...of course, now that the school has laid me off, I may not be able to do that much anymore (insert a wee bit of bitterness here...yes, I am working on that...). I did what I could. I taught high school girls at an all-girls school...the perfect opportunity to reach them with this message. Anyway, I met my DH when we were 18, and in many ways we finished raising each other. Anyone who meets their spouse that early in life does, I think. We're lucky that it worked out for us, Mar...it doesn't always.

Halle Berry needs to spend some time with NO man, and find out what life holds for her at 40. Speaking from where I am at 48...she'll be in for a great adventure, if she does. THEN maybe add a man to the mix, when she's got her own independent groove going!

J; 8:44 AM
Anonymous said...: Insecurities are bad - especially in your teens. I met my husband (now my ex) at 22; I don't think I was more knowledgeable about relationships than at 17.

I'm going to my 30 year high school reunion in September. And it's funny because the girls who didn't really talk to me in high school now are always telling my sister (who still lives in Big Spring where I grew up in) to tell me about the reunion and be sure that I go.

At my 25th h.s. reunion I had so much fun with these people I couldn't believe it! And I wondered why. I finally realized that it was because I now had more confidence in myself. I mean, I was a mother of two sons and they were both in school. I had recently discovered SARA and RWA and I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Though I did have the wish that I could go back to high school for one day knowing what I know now and see what would happen and how I would feel. Just one day. Don't think I could stand all that angst for longer. LOL

As for Halle Berry, most of those beautiful people are insecure, I think, that's why they're most comfortable 'acting' they're somebody else - because that's what they can control.

LMG; 1:40 PM
Anonymous said...: I wouldn't put too much weight on what either David Justice or Eric Benet have said about Halle. DJ's subsequent women have echoed Halle's sentiments about him. He treats women unwell and is unfaithful. Eric Benet blindsided Halle with his many indiscretions and yet she was the one willing to stand by him to work on the marriage. I think she has a right to be perplexed. She, by all accounts did what you are supposed to do in your marriage. She loved her husbands, contributed to the marriages both emotionally and financially and was faithful. And yet that wasn't enough for either of them. So yeah, I think she's right to ask the question. If she's doing what she's supposed to be doing and that isn't enough for them then what do they want?; 9:50 AM
MJFredrick said...: JoAnn, it's great you're teaching your students, but I know at that age, I didn't care what anyone said, I knew I was right. And unlike you and your dh and me and mine, my folks didn't make it and they married young. You're right about Hallie needing to find herself first.

LUPE!!! Glad you stopped by! Good for you for going to your reunion. I know what you mean about wanting to go back for just one day.

Evette, I know what you're saying about her exes, and I'm sure that would make her question her judgement, but at the same time, from what you said, SHE shouldn't have to be the one to change her behavior. This was what bothered me, someone as talented and beautiful as Hallie willing to change herself to make her what a man wants.; 6:48 PM