Public Service Announcement

The following are crappy movies with hunky guys. Do not waste your time or energy (or like I did, reward yourself after a hard day of writing) with any of these movies. (The pictures don’t match the movie because, well, I like GOOD pictures.)


1) Solaris with George Clooney. What the HELL was that movie about? Single handedly killed my crush.

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2) The Musketeer. Singular. Alex from Grey’s Anatomy…with a mullet. Like that wasn’t bad enough. Just bad, bad, bad.

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3) Shooters, The Cherry Orchard and Timeline with Gerry. He was in Shooters like, ten minutes and it was very…intense. The Cherry Orchard he was just goofy, and Timeline, well, the whole movie was running and hiding and getting caught, repeat. (That said, I do OWN the movie because he was just too cute.)

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4) Swordfish with Hugh Jackman. Again, WHAT was that movie about? And he was so sweaty and icky.

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5) Nick of Time with Johnny Depp. There’s a reason he’s not an action hero.

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6) Chain Reaction with Keanu. Or the one where he’s a serial killer. Actually, pretty much just like him in Matrix, Speed and Replacements.

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7) Some dumb Sci Fi movie called Sabertooth or something with Josh Holloway. Holy crapfest, Batman!

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What movies can you add?

23 comments:

ashling said...

yummy

:D

MaryF said...

LOL, Ashling, which?

I was going to name my son Ashling, if he'd been a girl, of course.

Paula said...

Colin Firth - The Advocate, The Turn of the Screw, The Secret Garden. The first one is grotesque. The other two, he's in it for about five seconds. Bleah.

David Duchovny - New Year's Day. Okay, so it has full frontal David nudity, but as a movie? Idiotic.

Jeremy Northam - Gloria. He plays Sharon Stone's gangster boyfriend. His American accent is excruciating. Run, run away!

MaryF said...

Paula, good to know, especially the Colin Firth movies!

In The Musketeer, Justin didn't even ATTEMPT a European accent. What were they thinking?

Michele said...

I'd add Proof of Life because I thought the movie had so much potential and it was just all blown to heck. The only good things about it were Russell Crowe (of course!), David Caruso, and David Morse.

Toni Anderson said...

So many bad movies, so little time :) I liked Proof of Live, probably because of the actors :/

MaryF said...

Michele, I agree about Proof of Life not fulfilling its potential. I have the same feeling about How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I loved the movie, till the party scene, and it all fell apart.

MaryF said...

Forgot to say I really love this Clooney pic. VERY inspirational.

Stacy Dawn said...

I loved How to Lose a Guy too but you are right...what the heck were they thinking with the singing bit...it totally didn't fit.

Most of Tom Cruise's lately have been totally on the sucky list.

Tracy Montoya said...

I actually didn't mind Hugh in Swordfish--I just minded the movie in general.

I'd add Kate and Leopold--Meg Ryan was SO miscast in that, although again, Hugh was fab.

Tracy Montoya said...

Oh, and I went on a mad Russell Crowe rampage after seeing Gladiator, and I would say just about everything he's in pre-LA Confidential blows.

Michele said...

Solaris kind of got to me but I saw it right after my mom died and what George's character was going through mirrored what my dad was going through so it probably affected me more than it probably should have. But I haven't seen it since either.

And Swordfish was just ridiculous. But I thought Hugh Jackman looked really good in it but I like scruffy guys.

And as for Russell, I haven't seen too many of his early Aussie movies but one I hate to say it was just for pure viewing pleasure (Hammers Over the Anvil).

MaryF said...

I HATED Kate and Leopold. Ew. I bought it, because HJ was in it, but sold it.

Stacy, EXACTLY. The singing bit. I just went, HUH?

Swordfish was just creepy. And I usually don't mind sweaty men, but like in a jungle or something. When there's a shower handy, I prefer they use it.

The only Russell Crowe movies I've seen are LA Confidential, Gladiator, Proof of Life and Cinderella Man. Has he ever played someone, you know, happy?

MaryF said...

Michelle, I can see Solaris affecting you right after losing someone. That would have been hard to watch under those circumstances.

Dana Pollard said...

Back in the day when I was a HUGE Dougray Scott fan (he's in The Heist on NBC on Wed.) I had to own every movie, or tv show he was ever in.

Two movies that were rather odd, that just HAD to be added to my DS library were Twin Town and This Year's Love. They're UK movies and it takes like 3 times of watching just to get what the heck they are saying.

MaryF said...

So, Dana, what are some GOOD Dougray Scott movies? I only know him from Ever After and Mission Impossible 2. (You know he was supposed to be Wolverine, but MI2 ran over and they had to recast.)

Joanna K. Moore said...

Don't rent anything Antonio Banderas has made since The 13th Warrior. Even Original Sin, where he as physically beautiful as he has ever been, was barely watchable. I did like the bed scene in the uncut version, however. :) Anyway, he so very much owes us a GOOD film. I'm hoping the dance movie he made that is coming out soon will be good. Even the last Zorro was so...well, it was awful. Sigh.

Want to fall in love with Banderas in a bad film that is for some reason very watchable? Of Love and Shadows. It is a TERRIBLE film. But there's just something about it. It made me read all the books by Isabel Allende. I definitely understand using magical realism, and she does it best.

J

MaryF said...

And here I saw Original Sin to see Angelina ;)

Was the first Zorro before 13th Warrior? I didn't mind the second Zorro, but it was forgettable.

Trish Milburn said...

All I've got to say is thank goodness Dougray's movie ran over and he couldn't play Wolverine. Not that I don't like Dougray. I just love Hugh as Wolverine. X3 comes out three days before my birthday. Guess where I'm going on the big day? :)

Dana Pollard said...

I too couldn't see Dougray as Wolverine. He was supposed to be the next Bond, but that fell through as well. Back when I was tracing every step the man took, I learned of the fall through with X Men due to MI2. He made a mean Sean Ambrose.

From what I understand, Dougray is better on stage than behind the camera.

Now, if you want to see Dougray in something interesting... Gregory's 2 Girls.

Oh, and he has twins the same age as my twins. Cool huh?

MaryF said...

I love Hugh as Wolverine, too, though the dh has issues, as a comic book fan. "He's too tall." Please. did you know HJ put on 20 pounds of muscle for the role?

Gerry was supposed to be the next Bond, too. Just as well - I'm not a big Bond fan (sorry, Michele!)

That is cute that Dougray has twins the same age as yours!

Sarah Catherine said...

Ew, for Dougray Scott as Wolverine!

Hugh Jackman is so on my "list", if anyone here watched Friends...and he's on my list as Wolverine - love that guy! ;)

MaryF said...

I can't imagine Dougray as Wolverine, either, but he might have been good. I'm just as happy to see HJ!

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