Writing Sexual Tension
Writing sexual tension between the hero and heroine has been a challenge for me lately, and I think part of the problem is, dare I say it, I’m a bit old fashioned. Don’t get me wrong, my characters get along really REALLY well. But I have trouble with the lead in. I just don’t want my hero to be thinking about THAT all the time.
I know, I’ve heard, guys do think about it all the time. Maybe so. I live with two men, I have two brothers, this could be true. If it is, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT. My dad told me this is true. MY DAD – yes, I’m scarred. Okay, admire her body, but for heavens sake, think about something else, too.
Del is the most sexual hero I’ve written, I think. He thinks Liv is hot, but he holds himself in check because, well, for one, they’re in the middle of the jungle and for another, she has a rough past and he is a rough guy and feels she deserves better. Doesn’t stop him from wanting her, but that he restrains himself makes him heroic to me. Did I mention I love Del?
I’ve read too many books where the sexual tension feels forced. Where you get the feeling the author was told, “You need to make it sexier.” And it just doesn’t ring true. Okay, maybe it is TRUE, but it doesn’t feel romantic. And more than knowing my hero lusts after my heroine, I want to know he loves her and respects her, too. How do you find a balance?
Double your pleasure today ;)
No, not THAT! I’m also blogging over GH mania over at Wet Noodle Posse today. Come stress with me.
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17 comments:
It's a challenge to write it well but it can add so much to a story :)
Just imagine you're sitting across the table from these two! :) And, they've just said...pick.
The best way to boost it inside you is to...okay, Mar, hold on...have a very wild sexual fantasy life. You can be very conservative in all areas of your life, but in your mind, you can do anything! I find this helps free me up for work without making me feel weird. I can't write it if I can't feel it. I think that's a problem in a lot of books, and why it feels forced and reads boring. The author isn't giving herself permission to make it real on the pages.
I like Sarah's suggestion...George, Brad, and you, Mar. I'll leave you with thoughts of that for now. :)
J
I know what you mean about so many of the books having what feels like forced sexual tension or sex scenes that just aren't the least bit romantic. I think this is because the current trend is hot, hot, hot. But like any other trend, they're flooding the marketplace and a lot of it isn't written well. I'm reading J.R. Ward's LOVER ETERNAL right now, and this woman can do it really well. But I've read others where I almost forget the characters and the story as soon as I close the book.
Oh, and very nice picture today. Dreamy sigh.
Sarah, you are the devil. I pick George. No, Brad. No, George. Definitely George. Or Justin... I keep dreaming about Justin Chambers.
But I definitely pick George.
Yes, Jorrie! It is boring to have the hero thinking that All The Time. Where is the growth?
Bonnie, you're right. I do want to feel the characters' longings, but not so....up front, I guess? I'm reading Get a Clue right now and it is GOOD. Every bit is well done, the romance and all, even though I expected more sexuality since it's a Brava. Everything makes sense, and I guess that's what I want.
JoAnn, believe me, when my characters let loose, they go all out. Is it bragging to say I rarely rewrite my love scenes? It's the build up I can't be so frank about.
Trish, I still have the first JR Ward in my TBR...maybe after Get a Clue.
Jenny Crusie blogged about this recently. I was fascinated because she was saying how lusting after a hero or heroine at inappropraie moments reflected so much on your viewpoint character--and often made them look slutty (paraphrasing) because they're thinking how sexy someone's bod is when they should be shaking hands. Or something like that. Sorry not making sense because I'm tired LOL
I get it now... I just received a score sheet from a contest I entered and one comment was "forced sexual tension."
I never knew...
It's a hard balance. And one day, when I get it down well, I'll share how :-). Until then... I'll tune in to your comments and see what everyone else has to say.
And it's George. So George!
Stacy, exactly so. How can we know what they're thinking? What I try to do with my heroes is balance the lustful gazes with gentleness, touching her hair, or laughing at something she says, or something like that. That's what Jill Shalvis does in Get a Clue and I really like the hero because of it.
Toni, I must go find Jenny's blog post! Yeah, the inappropriate timing of some of the lusting is jarring, that's the truth.
Dana, hugs on the comments. Do you know what elements they were referring to? An easy fix, or no? Is this the book you have with EC, or the one you sent to the agent?
April, I'm with you on George. Though Mr. Smith Brad was pretty hot!
Hmm...ya know...I just wrote a scene where the heroine is having a physical reaction to the hero. She isn't sure why, and she isn't sure she likes it one bit. Lustful thoughts (the "gotta get me somma that" stuff I hate in current romance) didn't go through her head...but it was clear that something was going on. Hmm. This may be what I have been looking for.
Mar, I know your love scenes are hot! I've read 'em! But 90% of the thrill of sex is the build-up. I think that's what's missing in too many books. The burning, longing, needing, and not getting. Oh, yeah.
Whew. I need a drink.
J
Mary it was in her blog with Bob.
March 2nd. Keeping it real (I think that's the one LOL)
Mary - I'm with you on giving both the hero lusting after her physically, but then also, admiring her for her strength, or her compassion, etc. Or like, a scene where the heroine may look horrible, but he likes her even more...
As a reader, I love it when glances are stolen across the room, and when the woman walks away, he can't help but watch the motion of her hips.
Part of the problem is that all that lustful thinking quite often doesn't fit when we're in the male POV. Which is probably part of the reason it comes off as forced.
a guy is much more likely to be thinking "I'd like to get some of that" than catologing the heroine's proportions in his mind, or even describing his own body reaction to her.
OOOO, I think you have it. I hate when the hero catalogs in his mind. It's weird.
J
Thanks, Toni!
JoAnn, I'm curious how you did the heroine's lustful thoughts, and how you made them different from the hero's.
Sarah, yes, I love when a hero can see past the exterior of our heroine to still find her appealing, like...dang, what was I reading and someone described the heroine to the hero in unflattering terms, but when he saw her, all he saw was wow! In Hot Shot, Gabe finds Peyton attractive despite the soot and the slurry. That's when they have their first kiss. I love that scene.
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