Robin Perini's Time Management Workshop

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I'm listening to Robin Perini's workshop on time management and a couple of things jumped out at me.

First, studies show that no matter how we say we put our families first, husbands and wives talk on the average of 28 minutes A WEEK!! I told my dh we have that beat already because we go to breakfast together every Sunday. But I can so see how that would happen. I write in the evenings, the dh plays guitar. There's TV and the Internet, and the dh doesn't get home until 6, and I'm heading for bed at 9.

Even scarier was the statistic that fathers only speak to their children minutes A WEEK. No typo there. The dh said he's about there with our son, but then the boy is 18, going to school working and has a girlfriend. We've gone 48 hours without seeing him--he goes to work before I get home and comes home after I'm asleep. But for little kids, 7 minutes a week is pretty devastating.

The other thing I've taken from the workshop is that I do not plan and plot my books, but I budget my life to death. Wonder why that is.

I'm watching Tivoed men's figure skating. I loved the Swiss skater and the Japanese skaters, all three of them, and Johnny Weir. I don't know who to cheer for in the women's, though!



Mary Curry said...

I was telling my husband about this while we were out walking the dog. We probably used to be like that but since we got the dog we spend a lot of time together walking him and chatting.

Did it say anything about how much time mothers spend talking to their children? LOL

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

I don't trust statistics like that. How many families were included? How many were broken homes? If the father is not the custodial parent, and only gets the kids every other weekend, well, YEAH, that's gonna drag the average down.

And honestly, I resent that citing of "studies" comes with a side of disapproval, as if we're all doing it wrong. No one gets to judge my family! LOL

(Your kid doesn't count because he's not a kid anymore! :) )

Anonymous said...

Thanks for listening to the workshop. It's nice to know someone listened beyond the intro :-).

RE: the stat...I did find the stat fascinating, of course, but it was what the stat represented in an ever larger sense that impacted me the most. In other words, the general concept that we don't always spend as much time as we want on the items we believe in and value as important, but rather on those that crop up and are urgent. It happens in my own life all the time, and I have to remind myself all the time to make choices that allow me to do things that ARE important, not urgent.

If I choose to watch the TV show, BONES, for example, I am choosing not to spend my time in any other it writing, exercising (unless I'm multi-tasking ;-)), or spending time with my family. Now, watching BONES could be a little R&R that I desperately need. We all have our own priorities based on our own lives, but if what you do each day doesn't align with the things you feel are important, that makes for a frustrating day-to-day world.

So, in the workshop, I used that statistic to indicate the discrepancy between what we as a nation believe is important (family, being one of the things most people believe is important) and that this general statistic doesn't seem to bear out that we are living what we 'say' is important. The question then becomes, do your values align with how you spend your day? Self-evaluation is a wonderful tool, I think.

To take this idea into writing, I might say writing is important to me, but if I don't write regularly, then maybe I need to decide if it's important enough to spend time on based on the rest of my life. Sometimes it is; sometimes it isn't. And that's okay. It's all about choice.

Just a few thoughts to add to the discussion. Thanks again for bringing the workshop up.

All my regards,

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

I'm sorry, Robin, I lasered in on the stats and not the greater point. :) You did an excellent job of using it as illustration, and I bet it was a fabulous workshop!

(Watching BONES and similar shows is ALWAYS important, though not urgent--yay, TiVo! :) )

Anonymous said...

No worries at all, Natalie. And no need to apologize either. AT ALL. The first time I heard the statistic, I was shocked as well, but then I realized for many with very busy lives, it might very well be true.

And I LOVE bones, and you're right. Thank goodness we can watch on demand now. Helps a bunch!

Love to blog. Thanks for being so welcoming!


MJFredrick said...

Mary, no, nothing was said about moms and kids. My patterns have changed with the dh since we've started going to Sunday breakfast.

Natalie, LOL on no one getting to judge your family.

Robin, thanks so much for stopping by. Sorry I didn't elaborate on the reference and its importance. I was just so struck by that number, because I see the result so much with my students. You're right--if I'm saying I'm writing, but I'm checking email and Twitter every five minutes, am I making writing my priority? No. So I need to adjust. I enjoyed that workshop, and your other one, as well, though it made my pantser head want to explode :)


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