Stephanie Bose, Where Are You?

Stephanie's blog is gone - does anyone know where she is?

Another cold front is coming in, and more rain. Sigh.

My friend Sandy sent this to me, and it's too funny not to share.

Taken from actual hospital charts.

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

6 On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7 The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

The best one I ever actually saw was at the S. Nassau Hospital outpatient mental health clinic where someone had transcribed a psychiatrist's order as: "patient to have an enema of the brain" when what he ordered was an MRI of the brain.

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6 comments:

mary beth said...

LOL Mary. Hope y'all don't get super cold this go around.

Bonnie Ferguson said...

LOL :)

Cindy Taylor said...

Very funny. Good for many belly laughs.

Kelly said...

LOL! That was too funny!

Toni Anderson said...

Very funny.

Stacy Dawn said...

LOL!

I've been looking for Stephanie too!

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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