Zero Words, Bed at 8:30

Kids ran me ragged yesterday, then I dropped off my Fire and Ice entry at the post office, came home, made supper and a torte for dessert, showered and got on the couch to watch Prison Break. I was so cold, I couldn't make myself write, and I kept dozing, so I went to bed. I slept till the alarm!!! I did dream I had a beautiful red-headed baby girl, and we weren't prepared at all - we didn't even have a car seat!

Here's a funny for you:

The following 15 police comments were taken from actual Dallas Police car videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD, Public Relations Officer:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (I could so hear one of my heroes saying this!)

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair?...... You want me to be fair? Listen Pal, Fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through the records department.

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1. "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."



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1 comments:

Kelly said...

Those are great - thanks for the chuckle!

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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