Beta Heroes

Humorous Pictures

I took my new story to critique this weekend, the story I love. I want to enter it in the Merritt Magic Moment contest, and so I took chapter 7, which is where the heroine decides she will go after what she wants (the hero), everything else be damned.

Okay, consider that my critique group has been reading Breaking Daylight, where Alex, the hero, is alpha, overtly sexual and pretty darned crude. He swears a lot and rarely has tender thoughts toward the heroine. They thought my new hero Noah wasn't physical enough. That he thinks about wanting to touch her, but they didn't feel like he FELT it, you know?

Noah is nothing like Alex. He doesn't swear - the one time he does, my heroine is surprised. He goes to church, though his thoughts when he sits by my heroine are NOT on the service. He doesn't think the same words Alex would use.

How do you write a beta guy without making him into a woman?

I finished my revisions on Vanished last night. I need to do a query letter this AM, then I'm starting Wayback from scratch. I plan to be done by April, though.

Okay, I've written two query letters and it isn't even 6 AM - go, me!



Anonymous said...

Deeper point of view.
But you're right. You have to be careful or he'll come across sounding like a girl. I HATE when I'm reading a fabulous book and all the sudden the hero sounds feminine.

Trish Milburn said...

Congrats on finishing up Vanished and the query letters. I cringed when I saw you posted your blog at 4:54 a.m. Ugh.


M.J. Fredrick's books on Goodreads
Breaking DaylightBreaking Daylight
ratings: 11 (avg rating 3.33)

Beneath the SurfaceBeneath the Surface
ratings: 11 (avg rating 4.00)

Hot ShotHot Shot (Samhain)
reviews: 2
ratings: 10 (avg rating 4.00)

Where There's SmokeWhere There's Smoke
ratings: 6 (avg rating 4.00)

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I'm a mom, a wife, a teacher and a writer. I have five cats and a dog to keep me company. I love bookstores and libraries and Netflix - movies are my greatest weakness.
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